i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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