This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Mom said you looked used
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
