i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
