Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
