I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
