I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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