they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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