So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
