You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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