i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
