So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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