Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
