The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
my poor anus
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
