the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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