never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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