...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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