I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
