white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
