one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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