So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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