Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
