Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
ttyl tear gas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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