Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
