anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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