i don't like sucking hair
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
