I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
