Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
