Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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