i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
