yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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