No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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