If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
