im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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