i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.