Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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