I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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