There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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