Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.

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  (908): the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime. http://tfl.nu/3xvq
  Replies (22) Good night (2787) Bad night (822)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively

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  (804): And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively http://tfl.nu/2885
  Replies (15) Good night (5237) Bad night (689)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.

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  (517): Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%. http://tfl.nu/8x9e
  Replies (19) Good night (961) Bad night (4187)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.

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  (401): Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face. http://tfl.nu/uer3
  Replies (61) Good night (1182) Bad night (4474)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.

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  (517): Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity. http://tfl.nu/x1wn
  Replies (25) Good night (4381) Bad night (1617)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?

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  (717): where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from? http://tfl.nu/obbh
  Replies (27) Good night (2440) Bad night (6812)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?

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  (585): she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year? http://tfl.nu/9o4d
  Replies (58) Good night (9993) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.

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  (616): You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls. http://tfl.nu/v76g
  Replies (9) Good night (5193) Bad night (1898)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.

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  (419): i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go. http://tfl.nu/8sa8
  Replies (29) Good night (2525) Bad night (789)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  welcome to the club.

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  (215): the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night. (1-215): welcome to the club. http://tfl.nu/wwaf
  Replies (5) Good night (958) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.

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  (570): I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women. (570): You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force. http://tfl.nu/ij9q
  Replies (6) Good night (1181) Bad night (517)
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  (714): View more from California

  She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.

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  (714): She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View. http://tfl.nu/be63
  Replies (12) Good night (1067) Bad night (2709)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.

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  (205): I can HEAR him staring at your boobs. http://tfl.nu/pry3
  Replies (5) Good night (1340) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?

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  (909): Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy? http://tfl.nu/kkqk
  Replies (10) Good night (1886) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.

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  (843): After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT. http://tfl.nu/qpcc
  Replies (4) Good night (1014) Bad night (223)

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