Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either

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  (612): Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar (651): If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either http://tfl.nu/6h7r
  Replies (24) Good night (641) Bad night (4022)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.

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  (704): I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count. http://tfl.nu/sfcz
  Replies (25) Good night (3752) Bad night (1013)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?

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  (231): At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive? http://tfl.nu/xcbd
  Replies (14) Good night (3618) Bad night (774)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything

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  (618): i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything http://tfl.nu/e4ud
  Replies (8) Good night (3647) Bad night (1027)
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  (516): View more from New York

  my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now

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  (516): my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now http://tfl.nu/4n6q
  Replies (13) Good night (1343) Bad night (2044)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before

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  (717): Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before http://tfl.nu/lay4
  Replies (6) Good night (2534) Bad night (762)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?

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  (404): It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar? http://tfl.nu/lonp
  Replies (6) Good night (1363) Bad night (663)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.

  (801): View more from Utah

  Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.

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  (239): Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down. (801): Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible. http://tfl.nu/w6b2
  Replies (5) Good night (2143) Bad night (596)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.

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  (727): He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life. http://tfl.nu/pdok
  Replies (12) Good night (636) Bad night (1154)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him

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  (801): NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him http://tfl.nu/eloy
  Replies (7) Good night (1685) Bad night (301)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct

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  (207): my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct http://tfl.nu/asi5
  Replies (0) Good night (397) Bad night (317)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.

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  (224): We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious. http://tfl.nu/mvzv
  Replies (4) Good night (883) Bad night (323)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk

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  (513): He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk http://tfl.nu/w9ix
  Replies (2) Good night (441) Bad night (253)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know

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  (519): He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them (1-519): Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know http://tfl.nu/74uk
  Replies (1) Good night (615) Bad night (146)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.

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  (615): A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday. http://tfl.nu/d723
  Replies (3) Good night (371) Bad night (414)

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