YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him