She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice