The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.