I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If I die, sorry about rent.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
