Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think I won the penis lottery.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize