I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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