i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
