I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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