so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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