she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize