If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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