i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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