Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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