Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We named our party play list daddy issues
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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