I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
