SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize