sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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