You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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