I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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