just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
