"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
