Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
