true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Floor bacon is actually really good
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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