you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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