That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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