Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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