i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
