Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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