You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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