Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
