Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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