they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
