you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Randomize
